Getting Ready for the Big Day

Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday morning, and the final procedure tally is: - bilateral maxillary antrostomy - anterior ethmoidectomy - septoplasty - turbinoplasty - removal of diseased tissue in maxillary and ethmoid sinuses I'll be in overnight, and if everything goes well (which I'm sure it will) I'll be released Thursday to Will. Several wonderful ladies have made arrangements to bring dinners for my family, to come sit with me and to visit with us afterwards, and I can't thank them enough. And if anyone else wants to come visit or hang out (or help me wash my hair, which I can't do by myself), please let me know With any luck, having the masses removed will solve an awful lot of my problems. I've got a great, competent doctor, an anesthesiologist who has a great sense of humor (always a plus) and my surgical nurse is my neighbor, who has been following my case from the beginning, so I know I'm in good hands. They'll have someone there to monitor my levels, to make sure I'm not in any danger, and will keep me for observation until everything has stabilized and I pass a neuro exam. In addition to the normal risks of anesthesia and surgery in general, they'll be operating super close to my brain when they go for the ethmoid sinuses, which are part of your eye sockets, and there's an extra little risk of brain damage. There's also the significant risk of my blood sugar dropping super low and going unnoticed for enough time to cause semi- or permanent neurological damage. If that happens, no one will know until afterwards, since I'm past the point of exhibiting noticeable physical symptoms. So I'm understandably scared. Scratch that - I'm terrified. The last time I had a surgery this scary (emergency C-section) it all happened too fast for me to truly grasp the risks and potential complications of such a procedure. I find myself wondering if it is worth it... is the risk of having an undetected low during surgery greater or less than the risk of having one in my sleep? What if this doesn't work? What if this doesn't work and I have an undetected low during surgery? What if I wake up and I can't remember words, or how to spell, or can't speak clearly? I know they're all super slim chances, but they could happen. I mean, what's a few sinus infections, a mass (that may or may not be an insulinoma) and a deviated septum in the grand scheme of things? Enough to risk, how ever slim, the chance that I might lose my short term memory, or suffer frequent loss of consciousness? That I could drop into a coma? Develop a stutter or slur? I'm just not sure. But I'll go ahead with it. It is the only option I have right now. And like I said - the odds are greatly in my favor. Almost certainly, none of those possible complications will come to pass. But what kind of person would I be if I didn't entertain them?